Rethinking Church Hurt
During the JCUS CF camp, our FES staff worker, Leal, covered a workshop on the topic of “Church Hurt”. The workshop provided a safe space to identify, define and understand what church hurt entails, whether it was something we had experienced in our own lives or seen in the lives of those around us. It also provided a space where we could lament and bring our hurt before God and remember His faithfulness in our lives. The workshop then moved towards a reminder that we shouldn’t dwell on our hurt and bitterness, but also have hopes, visions and dreams for the future, even in a place that had once caused us hurt. The workshop eventually came to a close with a segment on whether one should leave their church and how we should stay well despite the hurt.
Through the workshop, I found myself enlightened by a new perspective. I was so used to brushing off the hurt I had felt that I realised I had never fully brought the issue before God and laid out what was burdening my heart before Him, or identified what had hurt me. It also helped me to understand what I was looking for in a church and reminded me that we shouldn’t wall ourselves up in silos. It was encouraging to know that despite all the hurt, God’s global church stands firm and that I shouldn’t stereotype others based on my past experiences. I especially liked the segment on having a hope, vision and dream, as it reminded me to look forward optimistically to God’s promises. We also looked at the danger of falling into egocentrism, especially amid today’s glorification of “self-love” and “putting yourself first”. Such a mindset can pull us away from living life as disciples of Christ and cause us to act hypocritically, exacting the same hurt we hold against the church. It made me realise the importance of setting the standards we want to see within ourselves first.
For those also navigating church hurt, I would say it was healing to reflect on a perspective that puts God first while acknowledging that He is greater than all that hurts us. In doing so, this doesn’t undermine the pain we went through, but instead recognises and accepts its impact, allowing us to grow from it with God’s help instead of trying to do it on our own. As vulnerable as it is to put ourselves in a position where we fear being hurt again, I think it is encouraging and important to remain a part of the global church and find a space where we can continue to grow spiritually, faithfully and model ourselves after Christ.
— Kyla Samuel David is a final year Business and Environmental Science student in JCUS CF.
Editor’s Note: This reflection is part of our September news on the Season of Creation. Amid the difficulties of living in a broken world, we look to the hope that our relationships will also be redeemed in the new creation. As we join Christian brothers and sisters around the world in observing the Season of Creation, this month’s feature article encourages us to engage in earthkeeping as part of God’s mission for the church and an embodiment of the hope we have.
