Not Yet Married

Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating

by Marshall Segall

Crossway (2017)
FES Library book call number: 248.841 SEG

We all know that “CF” stands for “Christian Fellowship”, but many of us also jokingly call it “couples’ factory” because there are people dating one another within (or between) CFs. Whether you’re dating, not dating or happily single, Not Yet Married is a book that caters to all.

Segal offers a macro perspective that looks at how we should lead our lives as followers of Christ, whether we’re single or dating. The first half of this book looks at singlehood and how we can find joy, contentment and meaning in it. Personally, I find that conversations about relationships focus a lot on dating and marriage, with insufficient emphasis on singlehood. Such conversations exclude people who are contented to be single and for those who don’t want to be single, they may leave feeling discouraged and unclear on how they should go about dating. Hence, this book offers a good mixture of encouragement, exhortation and advice based on biblical passages and Segal’s personal experience on how we can live the most fulfilled lives as a single person, for those who chose singlehood and those who are waiting.

Now let’s move on to the dating section. Segal proposes that the end goal of dating is beyond marriage. The biblical understanding of marriage and covenant challenges our warped, present-day idea of what marriage might look like. He provides an honest critique on the world perceives dating, sex and marriage in comparison to what the bible says and provides practical advice on how we can date in a way that glorifies Christ.

I would recommend this book to fellow students because we are at that age where eager to date but may not have figured out how to date in a Christ-centred way. Or maybe you’re struggling with making sense of our singlehood and trying to be okay with it, especially when you see others happily dating. Alternatively, you could be contentedly single and eager to learn about how that ties in with our walk with God as a student. Not Yet Married has forced me to confront my preconceived notion of what dating and marriage is, while offering a new perspective on singlehood. Using Scripture as its foundation, it serves as a thought-provoking read to reflect on how we can honour God regardless of relational status.

Review by
Carolyn Ong
Student from NUS VCF (Science)